On Thursday, I was feeling needy and flailed all over my husband looking for affection, so he told me that I had to earn love and hugs, and that on that particular day I hadn't earned any. Does this count as spousal abuse? So that night I made him chicken and then poisoned it.
Just kidding. I did make chicken though. After which I believe I earned one hug.
Today I said "we need to put some Round Up on the rocks because they're getting clover" after which he stared at me in awe and wondered aloud why I didn't say "I need to put some Round Up on the rocks because they're getting clover."
The moral of this story is that in these sort of situations if I had a kid I would simply arrogantly proclaim that I carried his effing child for 9 months and then birthed it out of an orifice 1/8th its size - upon which he would bow down to the awesome miracle of life-giving beauty that is ME and then bring me some sort of frosty beverage. In reality, I had no answer and simply said because I need help figuring out how to work the container. Which, sadly, is true.
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