Big Bullies

I am increasingly disappointed in the amount of people I encounter on a daily basis who are just grown-up versions of the bullies they undoubtedly were as adolescents.  This afternoon I got bullied by a guy my own age who I can only guess assumed that if he pushed hard enough I would just do what he wanted.  A year or two ago, maybe I would have because I would have been trying to appease him, trying to be the people-pleaser that I am by nature.  Now I just don't give a shit.  So hate me.  I really don't care.  Think I'm a bitch.  I'm glad you do.  That probably means I've done something right.  I spent the better part of my early career making decisions primarily to make other people happy and it got me nowhere.  Those people I went out of my way to help didn't reciprocate my efforts; they took advantage of my good nature and then promoted complete strangers into the jobs I wanted.    And all these years later I can finally admit that they probably did the right thing, because they probably saw in me a tendency to appease other people that would eventually translate to doormat status.  I probably wouldn't have hired me either.   It's taught me a valuable lesson about learning to think before you agree.
So today I was very rude to the guy that tried to bully me.  And he told me I was being rude, which was maybe the first time in my entire life that a person has told me I was being rude.  And, actually, I feel sort of proud of it.  I did the right thing and, if anything, he deserved way worse treatment than what he got at my desk.  I hope he comes back and tries again because I'll be prepared.
The moral of this story - if something makes you feel icky, that is probably because it IS ICKY.   DON'T let someone push you into doing something you don't want to do - they are trying to make you feel bad in the moment so that you will give them what they want, but the result will only be that you feel even worse about it later if you give in!   Instead - stand your ground and realize that anyone pushing that hard for something without letting you think about it beforehand knows exactly what they're doing and it's probably not good.