There Was a Time When...

There was a time when...

I was terrified to disappoint my father
I thought I was as grown-up as my mother
I tried to be as rebellious as my brother

There was a time when..

I wanted to grow up to be like my Aunt Barbie
I wanted to smell like my neighbor Mrs. Smith's freshly laundered towels
I wanted to look like Ashley McCabe

There was a time when..

I looked out of place everywhere I went
I wore myself like I was just trying to be someone else
I looked like I hadn't slept in weeks and weeks - and it was rarely worth it

Now....

I realize I could never disappoint my father
I know I'll never be as grown up as my mother
I wish I had rebelled as much as my brother - it would have been such fun

Now...

I still want to be as cool as my Aunt Barbie
I still search for that laundry detergent
Who I look like is no longer relevant

Now...

I am out of place sometimes.  It's exciting.
I wear what I like and it feels like me.
I sometimes look like I haven't slept in weeks - and it's always worth it

Now...

I am me.

There will be a time when your self feels wrong, out of place, desperate to be ... other than.
That feeling will pass and, someday, will be replaced by ...  Happiness.  Acceptance.  Selfness.
Wait for it.