Well, we just got back from a week on the Carnival Triumph, which was a blast. I am glad to be home though. Most of the past week has been a series of 'what-if' scenarios for me that usually result in me wondering if people would consider me suicidal if they could read my mind. I really hope I'm not the only one who does this.
For example, I spent an inordinate amount of time watching the water from my stateroom's balcony. The water was beautiful and deep deep blue. The ship cutting through the waves made peaceful-looking whitecaps 6 stories below me. I couldn't help but contemplate what it would be like to climb over the balcony railing and take a swan dive into the water beneath me, and then how the moments that follow such a move would unfold.
Would I flail around wildly and survive for a few minutes before becoming shark bait?
Would I die before the sharks got me or would I have to tread water waiting in vain for someone to rescue me, only to be eaten up anyway?
Would I die instantly upon hitting the water?
Would the water be icy cold or warm or somewhere in between? Would I even feel it?
How long would it take before anyone noticed?
What if I did it while my husband was out getting us a drink? How long would it take him to begin looking, panic-stricken, for his missing wife? How long would he allow himself to believe that I had simply stepped out to use the internet cafe or play the slot machines in the casino downstairs. Would he first assume that I had taken up with another man in another state-room, or would he assume that I had jumped overboard? Which of these would I find more offensive, and which would be worse for him to have to believe?
These thoughts consumed whole chunks of time while I was on the cruise. So I am glad to be back because now I am back to my normal routine in my normal house, where the temptation to come up with new and wild scenarios is less compelling.
By the way, I'm not suicidal. I believe this is just the morbid version of what kids do when they wonder what would happen if they stood up on the library table during study hall and shouted "I Hate My English Teacher!" or something like that. It's fun to imagine outrageous scenarios and try to decide what you would do if they happened. For instance I sometimes ask Adam what he would do if an airplane fell out of the sky and landed in the lake next to us while we are out on the boat, or what he would do if the dam collapsed as we drove over it, our only two options being drive toward the water and into the lake or drive away from the water and over the other side of the dam. However, I'm glad that my imagination only stretches so far, because I've exhausted most of the crazy at home already, so I'm free to go back to just being my normal self for awhile, instead of being overwhelmed by all manner of opportunities for mayhem which surround you while on vacation.
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